Found it!

This is the RP I was talkin' about, they went offline for a while but made a new board this september, check it out, but read all the rules so I don't get in trouble for showing you in, okaies?

And my question was ignored... T_T

design a shinigami based off her and i'll see how it looks.

no problem ^^

Are you in the forum's approved section? If yes, then he already is.  If no, then pester Sachi to find if he's being a little busy/ditzy or you need to sculpt your character a bit more.  X3

Actually, I'll reveiw your abilities just cause I'm so nice (and really really bored).  ...Umm, word of warning though, I'm kinda harsh, so don't take anything personally.

Character's Powers/Abilities:
1. Shikai Release
2. Kido Techniques
    -Favorite Bakudo: #39: Enkosen; #37: Tsuriboshi; #1: Sai.
    -Favorite Hado: #4: Byakurai; #58: Tenran; #33: Sokatsui
3. Hoho (Shunpo)

This is all okay.

4. Secondary Shikai Release

Read everything, I think Sachi approved all of your shikai stuff, but the reiryoku eating is alittle hollowy (not a bad thing, just keep it in mind).

5. Increased Reiryoku

Okay, so larger than normal energy reserves, fine.

6. Enhanced senses (sight, hearing, smell)

Going with the wolf theme, cool.

7. Passive Primary Shikai Release

What does this mean?  Are you saying it's a constant Shikai Realease-type blade?

8. Massive Reiryoku

This is kinda the same as #5 only bigger, combine them and put more detail into the ability, see Takeshi's Compressed Reiatsu ability for an idea.

9. Bankai Release

You don't have anything detailed about your bankai, also, generally only Gotei 13 Captains and above have a Bankai. So, either you're a Captain or equivalent who should have bankai OR you're very very good (like dominant Main Character good) and need to write up your bankai.  Alternately you have a lot of potential but have not yet undergone the intensive training to acheive bankai and don't need to write it up.

10. Staggering Reiatsu

Alright, huge energy stores and a nearly equal output? That's just kicking the dog into the kitten.  My evaluation: pick one of the two.

===
Okay to your history now.

History:Akira was born in the present day. He was a social pariah in his time, but at least he had good grades. Thing is, he is schizophrenic. Six voices inhabited his mind, since he was five, since his best friend, his only friend, had died in a car accident. Those six voices managed to keep him from going insane, but they also kept him from being sane, too. For about ten years, those voices only bickered, until one day, he had, quite literally, and out of body experience. His first experience with a creature, known as a Hollow, threw him out of his body instantaneously. Strangely enough, he became a Soul Reaper, then and there. As he fought desperately with his newfound sword, the voices seemed to come from the sword, chanting over and over, "We shall hunt." Akira began to chant with the voices, fleeing the beast. The next thing he knew, the voices had materialized into people. Allies. Friends. The Hollow was cut down in an instant. One year later, Akiras story begins.

Hmm, okay, it's good, but... here's the thing: 1) being a social pariah with a special destiny is kind of cliche, but you're schitzo (or rather have 'dissociative identity disorder', schizophrenia is something different, wiki it so you know what you're writing about) ...so I guess that's okay; 2) you're a newborn human-bound reaper (if I read your history correctly, I think the hollow killed you, or very nearly) that has shikai... if it's a constant release type zanpakutou, that's fine, but if it's not I'm giving you a Mary Sue card (wiki it if you don't have any idea what a Mary Sue is).

Lastly, if you are playing an 'Ichigo' (that'll be two out of the three of us), so no bankai (yet).  If you want a character who's acheived bankai, play a captain or something equally ancient (Takeshi is over 400 years old and only has his shikai, granted he's been by himself this whole time, so captains and such could be younger than that.)


Summary: Okay, a few of your powers are either overpowered for the kind of background you have or duplicates of each other, fix those.  Other than that, everything looks fine.

Last edited by Cy83r K0rp53 (2009-12-07 12:08:51)

Aha, okay, I'd assumed you wrote the bio like I did and just listed most thing as abilities already had.  BTW, Sachi approved you, so just go ahead and jump in (we're pretty casual anyways) and Sachi will move your bio to the approved section when he remembers and has time, ne?

I'm waiting for the next hollow attack before the seven wolves begin their hunt.

Laymens terms, I'm waiting for the next hollow attack before I post.

working all the time sorry i didn't get a post up.  Is there even interest to keep this going.  If so i'll get something up in the next few days I just don't want to waste my time if noone else is still in.

just starting your own is perfectly fine.  I'll try to get back in the swing of things as i get into a new semesters routine.  I just keep biting off more then I can in real life and need to take a step back I think.

So it appears my stupid schedule killed this.  Sorry Guys .  Although if anyone still wants to play I'm willing to try to keep it going.